February 12, 2006

• Random thoughts, apologies, life, mental illness and the
  need to write:
  

  I haven’t been on xanga for about a month and I’ve missed
  keeping up with those I regularly follow, and I apologize for that.  Teaching anatomy has taken more time than I’d
  ever imagined.  Even though it’s a
  subject I know, reading and outlining chapters, maintaining a website for the
  students ( http://www.iupucanatomy.com), putting together power point presentations
  for the lectures, designing labs and generating and grading tests, and in
  general worrying about and giving a shit about each of the students in the
  class has taken all of my free time and more. 
  That said: I love it.

  I’d forgotten just how much I love academic life.

  I didn’t always love it, that’s why I tried to drop out of
  high school and join the army, and that’s why when I was offered the chance to
  go to West Point while in basic training I
  told the army, thanks but no thanks “that’s why I’m here, I hate school.”
  Saying no to West Point at that time of my
  life was the second best decision I’ve ever made.  Marrying Deb was the best.

  Anyway, I love going to school these days.  I don’t know if I’m a good professor but I’m
  sure I’m at least average.  I’ll get
  better.  In life there are those that do
  and those that can teach, and rare people that can do both.  All of my life I’ve been a doer.  In teaching medical residents I probably had
  less patience than I should have.  But I’m
  learning patience and the teaching process. 
  I care about these students and I think they felt that, which is why I
  think many were surprised when many of the class failed the first exam.  Surprise, surprise . . . I also expected them
  to learn something and learn it well.  I
  think we’re getting on the same page now though.

  Perhaps the biggest drain on my little time that is left
  from this whole thing has been having access to unlimited journal articles on
  line.  I find myself researching topics
  late into the night and printing them out and reading them.  For me, access to thousands of scholarly
  articles is like a cocaine addict being locked in a coca warehouse in Bogota.  It feels good, but fucks up your life.

  All this has caused me to apply to Loyola University
  for an MS degree in bioethics.

  This brings me to the mental illness portion of this entry.  I’m addicted to courses from the Teaching
  Company.  They’re courses taught by
  leaders in each field and the current one I’m watching is Biology and Human Behavior.  In the first lecture he said there was a
  particular type of mental disorder that causes one to exhibit interest in
  philosophy and religion.  Well, anyone
  that has read my blogs for awhile knows that’s me.  I immediately paused the DVD and ran to the
  computer to Google the topic and see what mental illness I have.  Haven’t been able to identify it yet.

  That said; just in case you think I’m turning into a purely
  academic nerd, check out page 30 of the current (February) issue of Dance
  Magazine.  You may recognize the name of
  the photographer.

  • 5:15 pm
  • 4 Comments