July 13, 2006

• O.K. Now I'm scared shitless!

  The following was printed on salon.com today.

  The terrorist in the cornfield

  In the immediate aftermath of 9/11, Defense Secretary Donald
  Rumsfeld began pushing for an attack on Iraq. "We all said ... 'No, no.
  Al-Qaida is in Afghanistan, we need to bomb Afghanistan,'" Richard Clarke remembers. "Rumsfeld said there aren't any good targets in Afghanistan. And there are lots of good targets in Iraq."

  He forgot Indiana.

  Yes, the Hoosier State had about as much to do with 9/11 as Iraq did.
  But Indiana has apparently got something prewar Iraq lacked: a boatload
  of high-value targets.

  That's how the Homeland Security Department sees it, at least.

  DHS's National Asset Database lists possible targets of terrorist attacks, and, as the New York Times
  reports this morning, Indiana appears in the database more often than
  any other state. We're talking one and a half times more often than New
  York. Twice as often as California. About 21 times as often as the
  District of Columbia.

  Can't think of a likely terror target in Indiana?

  You're just not trying hard enough.

  Actually, we can't tell you about any terrorism targets in Indiana,
  either -- the Times report doesn't identify any of the 8,591 potential
  targets there. So we'll imagine for a moment that the Indianapolis 500
  is on the list, and the Statehouse, and maybe Michael Jackson's
  childhood home and that high school where "Hoosiers" was set. But those
  would be significant targets compared with the ones the DHS lists for
  other states. As the Times reports, the National Asset Database
  includes "targets" such as a petting zoo in Woodville, Ala., the annual
  Mule Day Parade in Columbia, Tenn., "Nix's Check Cashing," the "Mall at
  Sears," an "ice cream parlor," a "tackle shop," the "Bean Fest" and the
  "Beach at End of a Street."

  For the rest of the article go here:

  Really, if there are 8591 potential targets in Indiana then Richard Snyder's septic tank/shit sucker truck which is parked only a mile from my house has got to be on the list.  This place would smell like hell if it was hit by a terrorist bomb.  I think this would fall under the category of "chemical weapons" if the contents were released into the air.

  At any given time, half the residents of the county are in Wal Mart so Wal Mart has to be on the list too.  Actually I don't care if they blow up Wal Mart but I hope that Circuit City and the tractor supply store aren't on the list.

  We have the ugliest, most dysfunctional interstate exchange in the nation at the I-65 exit.  I might actually blow it up myself and it'll be blamed on the terrorists.

  Shit!  This is scary living in Indiana now.  I'm gonna lose sleep over this. Not!  I really do hope that Richard Snyder's septic/shit sucker truck doesn't get bombed though.

  • 11:11 am
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